Mexico. etc.

Time here has flown by, I cannot believe I have been here for a month already.  My spanish is improving, it's not good, not by any stretch of the imagination, just a bit better than a couple weeks ago.  This, coupled with the fact that I really don't care that I sound like an idiot, has allowed me to talk to more people.  I have even made a couple of appointments and taken care of some business type-things, solely in spanish!  Generally when people talk to me I just nod, say "o.k." (It means the same thing in spanish) and wait for something they say to register, and then I respond.  So far this has worked out well, we'll see if my luck continues.

Also, I have managed to acquire the nickname "Necesito" (I need).  Apparently this stems from my overuse of the word the first couple weeks.  I need to go to the bank, I need to find the office, I need to learn spanish...  Turns out, down here "need" actually means "need" not "have to" so I sounded rather ridiculous "needing things" all the time.  I guess a lot of Americans talk like this, I just managed to draw more attention to my self in my vain attempts to avoid using the word.

In the past couple weeks of internet silence I have also managed to complete one of my bigger challenges down here.  I finally enrolled for the damn test.  After all of my adventures to various government office building trying to re-validate my studies it turns out I need to do this AFTER I take, and pass the test.  I know what most of you are thinking, and no, I didn't misinterpret anything.  

Here is a run-down of the little "game" that was signing up for class:

First:  I tried to register before talking to the school

Second: The school tells me to register at a different building, and with this paper (Paper A) I can enroll for the test.

Third:  After several attempts at several different offices I am informed that I need another paper (Paper B) to register for Paper A.

Fourth:  I am informed that I need another Paper (Paper C) to get Paper B.

Fifth: The only way I can get Paper C is by passing the test, but to register for the test I need Papers A+B.  This could be a problem...

After some negotiations, and a little help from some nice people down here, I managed to enroll for the test.

Most of my time has been spent trying to study and learn the language, hence the lack of anything exciting.  However, I did attend the birthday party of the host mom, and that was a decent time.

The guys in the picture below have been the two I have been hanging out with since I've been here, Martin (he always makes faces, he's not really cross-eyed) is from Paraguay and Michael is from Germany, I'll let you figure out who is who.

Anyways, the three of us and the family took a bus to Toluca for the party, it's the capital of the state of Mexico and about an hour away.  We arrived, helped out a little bit and hung out as people started to arrive.  The party was awesome, we were in a banquet hall, there was about 120 people and ample amounts of alcohol to keep everyone going for quite awhile.  Yes, they had tequilla, but there was also several other distinctly mexican types of booze.  I sampled all, and aside from the polque I enjoyed everything.  Polque is a fermented alcohol made from the agave plant.  While it tasted decent it also had a "I am starting to ferment in your stomach" feel to it, so I steered clear.  After dinner everyone danced and played different games.  It was funny, because they started playing musical chairs with all the kids, and once that was over, all the ladies, and then the gentlemen.  Now, I haven't played musical chairs for 15 or so years, so my skills were a bit off.  But imagine a group of 20 or so grown men, a touch inebriated, all vying for chairs.  It was awesome.  My only gripe was, after the first round no one followed the "you can't touch the chairs with your hands" rule.  Had I used my hands I think I would have survived another round or two.Now we get the most interesting point of the night, and possibly my trip.  I debated writing about this for some time primarily due to the audience I am writing for (read parents) but a story is a story.  So, for the faint of heart please skip the next section and do not read anything in green.

The party, well, it wasn't really winding down, there were just fewer people.  However, it was time for myself, Martin, Michael and the rest of the guys to head back to the house.  At this point I was trying to figure out how to get back.  The plan was to take a cab back to the bus station, take a bus to the city and a cab from the bus station in the city to the house.  While I was trying to get some of this figured out two cars pulled up.  Luis and his friends piled into the first car, driven by a fairly sober looking girl.  The second car pulled up and was waiting for us to get in, so I take a look at the driver.

 "Is that the guy....yep that's the guy who nearly drank a bottle of whiskey himself".  

Yeah, so I'm not going with that guy.  

Michael and I discussed this and it was determined that we would try and call a cab to take us to the bus station.  So I go to talk to anyone who can give me the name of the bus station so I can tell this to the cab we don't have yet.  What ends up happening is a call is made to Luis asking why they left without me, Luis says they are waiting for me outside and I am sent back out.

"Shit, everyone is in the car"

"Shit"

"I'm an hour away from Mexico City,  my spanish is less-than-adequate, at best, and I have two choices"

"I can try and get a cab by myself, get him to take me to a bus station I can't really pronounce and take a bus to a terminal I don't know and take another cab, by myself from a possible seedy area of town"

"or I can ride with drunky Mc-yells-a-lot for the 5 minute ride to the station"

"Shit"

-Hoooooonk! Hoonnnk!-

"Shit"

Against my better judgement, I get in the car, something I REALLY did not want to do.  We take off and we're following the other car.  All is well for the first two minutes, music is a bit loud but nothing unbearable.  Then the CD changes tracks, surprisingly to something rather feminine.   Captain and his Co-pilot (who was hiccuping anytime he tried to speak) are belting out some song at the top of their lungs, while flicking the dome light to the music.

"Where's the buckle for my seatbelt?"

Then he starts swerving.  Swerving to the music.

"Where the hell is the buckle for my seat belt?!"  "Holy Hell, this is terrible, only three more minutes Dave, three more minutes".

Then he passes the lead car, going to the bus station.  At this point I'm really hoping he knows where he's going.  I'm pretty sure someone asked, but I avoided saying anything because anything that was said elicited some kind of response that scared the hell out of us.

At this point we're coming up on the 5 minutes mark, and I think I recognize a building or something.

"Thank you God, we are close"

Then we get on the highway, back to Mexico City.

"Shit"

Someone asked about the bus station and this, again elicited some more erratic driving.  At this point everyone in back is just trying not to look scared out of their mind.  Crazy driving ensues for another 15 minutes or so.  At this point it seems that Captain and Co-Pilot Hiccups and starting to mellow out.

Right when I started to think the drive might be more bearable Captain and Co-Pilot Hiccups start counting down.

"Holy hell, what could they possibly be counting down for"

At this point everyone in back starts trying to talk them out of doing whatever they plan on doing when they get to zero.  Questions, pleading ensue.  This does not help.

TRES!!!!

Michael: "Please, do not do anything"

DOS!!!!!!

Martin: "What are you guys doing, you can at least tell us"

UNO!!!!!

Someone in the back, not sure who to this day: "NO QUIERO MORIR JOVEN!!"

And then, after bodies in the front shift, Captain was sitting in the same seat as Co-Pilot Hiccups.

"Dear God.....Help....Please...."

So not only is Captain driving from the other seat, the car is a stick, I don't think he can reach the clutch and Mexico City has mountains.

"SHIT!"

The three of us at this point are pleading with him to start driving, well... at least like he was before.  To no avail, he continues to drive like this for some time.  And then we see a cop on the side of the road ahead.

"Please, pull us over.  Please. Cop."

Well, we do not get pulled over and he starts yelling profanities at the cop.  This is when I had my epiphany moment.

"I'm somewhere between Mexico City and and hour away from Mexico City, riding with a drunk guy, through the mountains, with my new German and Paraguayan friends, scared shitless in the back of a Peogot 206.  What the hell?"

So, apparently all the seat changing business stirred up the good ol' "I have to pee" feeling in our Driver.  This was fairly made clear when he promptly pulled off the road.

"Finally, out of that damn car"

I guess the ride shook everyone up a bit because everyone needed to use the facilities.  As we piled back into the car Michael noticed I was frantically looking for the seatbelt buckle.  "Yeah, no buckles back here".  So the three of us cram in to the back of this deal, not really knowing what else we could do.  Martin and I on the sides and Michael in the middle.  This time I have my seatbelt pulled across me and Michael has it looped through his left arm, Martin has the same set-up on the other side.  Safer than nothing at all, we assume.

The rest of the ride was still nerve-wracking, I believe I made a couple promises to God should I arrive safely, we had a couple moments with no headlight and then I saw it.

"Traffic.  Glorious Traffic. There is no way he can drive like this if there is traffic."

Was I ever wrong.  He took this as an opportunity to show of his stunt man driving skills.

"Shit"

At one point, when he stopped the entire front end was smoking.  We promptly pointed this out so that he might, maybe slow down? 

Nope, all we get is "OH, that.  I just put new brake on."

So, a couple more minutes of ridiculous driving, a few more promises between The Lord and I and we arrived at home.  

The three of us promptly go to the corner store, buy beer and suck down a cold one as we try to settle down after the ridiculous trip home.

Lesson learned.  Now I can check  "riding with a crazy drunk guy through the mountains" off my list.  Not that it ever was on the list, but it sure as hell is going to be the last time that happens.

The rest of the night was spend conversing, having a couple drinks and relaxing.  After all, there was a birthday to celebrate as well as a newfound appreciation for life...